THE GREAT CANDY REDISTRIBUTION

FOR DUCKS SAKE – FIELD DISPATCH

TRICK OR TREAT? – HALLOWEEN EDITION

"THE GREAT CANDY REDISTRIBUTION"

By Duck-9, Seasonal Confectionery Correspondent

MISSION LOG:

Location: Front Porch, Suburban Neighborhood

Time: October 31, 7:14 PM

Threat Level: SUGAR RUSH IMMINENT

I volunteered for tonight's assignment by turning on the porch light.

Within minutes, three tiny strangers appeared at my doorstep carrying empty buckets and unusually convincing disguises.

One identified himself as Frankenstein.

One arrived wearing the unmistakable red cloak of Little Red Riding Hood.

The third...

Offered no identification whatsoever.

Only "ghost."

I decided not to press the issue.

THE ENCOUNTER:

The visitors politely announced the customary greeting:

"Trick or Treat!"

After a brief inspection of their candy containers, I issued each participant an approved chocolate allocation.

No tricks were attempted.

No negotiations were required.

The exchange lasted less than thirty seconds.

Frankly...

I've attended corporate meetings that were significantly less efficient.

SUSPICIOUS OBSERVATIONS:

• Frankenstein displayed excellent manners despite appearing partially assembled.

• Little Red Riding Hood remained exceptionally polite considering the documented history with wolves.

• The ghost never spoke once.

I'm not saying it was an actual ghost...

I'm simply saying no one has ruled it out.

AFTERMATH:

The trio disappeared into the night in search of additional candy acquisitions.

Neighborhood intelligence suggests they'll repeat this operation at approximately forty more houses before curfew.

Professionals.

Every last one of them.

INTERPRE-QUACK-TATION:

Halloween may be the only night of the year when complete strangers willingly knock on your door...

...and everyone leaves happier than when they arrived.

There's something comforting about that.

FEATHERED THOUGHT:

For one evening...

the world agrees to pretend.

Adults become neighbors.

Kids become monsters.

And even a cynical old reporter gets to believe that magic might still be walking around the neighborhood...

...asking for chocolate.

FINAL NOTE:

This is Duck-9...

reminding you:

If a ghost politely says, "Trick or Treat"...

Give them the good candy.

Just in case.

Report Filed.