THE family package

CASE FILE #021

CASE FILE: THE FIRST DATE — FAMILY PACKAGE

Mission Log

What began as a routine first date quickly escalated into a full-scale family operation. The reservation was allegedly for two.

Six people arrived.

Authorities were notified.

The Discovery

The suspect appeared for his date accompanied by his mother, father, and seven-year-old twin sisters.

His date had arrived prepared to meet one man. Instead, she found herself seated before what investigators described as an unsolicited family orientation.

The suspect maintained that his relatives were merely there for “emotional support.”

Investigators remain skeptical.

The Investigation

Questioning proved difficult.

The suspect’s mother corrected his posture during the interview. One twin interfered with official note-taking equipment. A family photo album was introduced into evidence before appetizers had been cleared.

Then the questioning turned toward grandchildren.

The father produced a calculator.

“Two kids. Three bedrooms. One guest room for us. Perfect.”

At this point, investigators determined that the family was no longer evaluating a first date.

They were conducting long-term strategic planning.

Feathered Thought

There is bringing baggage into a relationship.

And then there is bringing the people who packed it.

Final Note

The woman quietly left the scene while the family remained occupied with future planning.

No attempt was made to stop her.

The family reportedly liked her.

She has requested witness protection.

CASE STATUS: Closed.
THREAT LEVEL: Thanksgiving.