THE wrong labor day
CASE FILE #020
CASE FILE: THE WRONG LABOR DAY
Mission Log
Duck‑9 entered the hospital maternity ward prepared to cover one of America’s most celebrated holidays.
He brought balloons, a notepad, and absolutely no understanding of what Labor Day meant.
The Discovery
Duck‑9 found one particularly dedicated celebrant who claimed she had already been in labor for fourteen hours.
He immediately documented her remarkable commitment to the holiday.
The patient did not appear festive.
The Investigation
Duck‑9 questioned the exhausted woman, took extensive notes, and considered nominating her for Employee of the Month.
That was when a nurse quietly explained the situation.
There were, apparently, two entirely different kinds of labor—and only one traditionally involved balloons, parades, and discounted patio furniture.
Duck‑9 had reported to the wrong one.
Feathered Thought
Before celebrating any national holiday, confirm that it is not also a medical condition.
Final Note
Duck‑9 was escorted from the maternity ward without incident.
The balloons were confiscated.
The mother requested an epidural and a different reporter.
CASE STATUS: Misunderstanding successfully delivered.
Report filed.