THE INTERNAL DISTURBANCE

CASE FILE #019

CASE FILE: THE 1:30 A.M. INCIDENT

Classification: Internal Disturbance
Status: Suspect remains at large. Unfortunately, also remains internal.

MISSION LOG

At approximately 1:30 this morning, I was awakened by an urgent development originating somewhere below the press badge.

There was no warning.

No statement from officials.

Just the unmistakable feeling that something had gone terribly wrong.

I grabbed my notepad and proceeded immediately to the scene.

THE DISCOVERY

Initial investigation led to the bathroom.

The first question was obvious:

“What did you eat?”

I waited for an answer.

Then I realized I was looking in the mirror.

This complicated the investigation considerably.

THE INVESTIGATION

After several minutes behind closed doors, I emerged shaken but committed to the story.

My notes were inconclusive.

The timeline was murky.

Several meals were persons of interest.

And the primary suspect was refusing to cooperate.

I recorded my preliminary finding:

“Suspect remains uncooperative.”

That's when my stomach growled.

The investigation had just threatened the reporter.

FEATHERED THOUGHT

There are moments in journalism when you have to remain objective.

There are also moments when you're standing in your pajamas at 1:30 in the morning, taking notes about your own digestive system.

This was the second kind.

FINAL NOTE

The suspect remains uncooperative.

…and hostile.

CASE STATUS: Ongoing.
REPORT FILED: From a safe distance to the bathroom.