INTERVIEW WITH THE CRYPT KEEPER

FIELD REPORT #003

INTERVIEW WITH THE CRYPT KEEPER

Some sources are more animated than others.

By Duck-9, Staff Reporter

MISSION LOG

Every profession has its difficult interviews.

Some subjects avoid questions.

Some avoid the truth.

Today's subject...

appears to have avoided death altogether.

With notebook in hand and professionalism fully intact, I descended into a candlelit crypt for what was scheduled as a routine interview with the legendary Crypt Keeper.

In hindsight, I should've questioned the location.

THE INTERVIEW

Despite the unsettling décor, the conversation began surprisingly well.

He was articulate.

Well-read.

Passionate about his work.

Perhaps a bit too passionate.

Without warning, the Crypt Keeper lunged across the table with the enthusiasm of someone who hadn't startled a journalist in several decades.

For approximately one second, this reporter abandoned every ounce of professionalism.

Official transcript:

"BWAAHK!!"

I am not proud of it.

DAMAGE REPORT

• Notebook recovered.

• Pencil briefly declared missing.

• Fedora required straightening.

• Glasses survived.

• Professional dignity... eventually returned.

INVESTIGATIVE FINDINGS

The Crypt Keeper later insisted the entire incident was "just a little joke."

Unfortunately, my cardiovascular system was unavailable for comment.

FEATHERED THOUGHT

Some interviews test your patience.

Some test your courage.

And some remind you that maintaining journalistic integrity is considerably more difficult when your interview subject attempts to become your jump scare.

FINAL NOTE

The Crypt Keeper asked if I'd like to return next week.

I told him...

I'll have my editor get back to him.