the tan line incident

CASE FILE #010

CASE FILE: THE TAN LINE INCIDENT

Mission Log

Classification: Domestic Incident
Location: Kitchen, dangerously close to the truth
Status: Question withdrawn
Evidence: Painfully visible

Duck-9 was enjoying a quiet morning with the newspaper when a routine observation developed into an investigation he immediately regretted opening.

The Discovery

She walked into the kitchen looking like she'd spent the afternoon negotiating directly with the sun.

The evidence was extensive.

The tan was aggressive.

The lines were… specific.

Duck-9 noticed none of this.

He was reading.

The Investigation

Without so much as lowering the newspaper, Duck-9 asked:

“You been sunbathing without your top on again?”

Silence.

The kind of silence an experienced reporter should recognize as a warning.

Unfortunately, Duck-9 continued.

“Because you look a little… uneven.”

She looked down.

Then she looked at him.

Only then did Duck-9 finally lower the newspaper and examine the evidence firsthand.

A single eyebrow rose.

The investigation had reached an unexpected conclusion.

Feathered Thought

There are questions that demand answers.

There are questions that uncover the truth.

And then there are questions where the smartest investigative technique is to put the newspaper back up and pretend none of this ever happened.

Final Note

Duck-9 reviewed the evidence.

Duck-9 reconsidered his approach.

Duck-9 issued his final statement:

“…Never mind.”

CASE STATUS: CLOSED FOR PERSONAL SAFETY.